Final preparations at the studio today.... the last official meeting before I leave.  Ted was there offering support to my beleaguered state.  "You did the right thing, Gil" he keeps telling me.  Ted has changed a lot since when I knew him in my younger days.  Or perhaps it is our relationship that has changed.  He has become such an older brother/uncle to me and the studio-- he is truly a part of the studio in his own unique role.  I sense, too, that he respects me, and this is still a difficult thing for me to accept since I know him to be in a martial echelon above me.  I do feel honored and undeserving of his respect, yet I feel driven to better myself to meet his high standards.

 

Much is the same with my students.  The depth of respect and loyalty I receive from them on a daily basis (especially through recent trials) is humbling indeed, and quietly I feel myself rise to their standards of a leader.  They need someone strong, wise, and unswerving in dedication and direction, and thus I have no choice but to stretch my limits further, become the person I am not sure I can be... But I must, and somehow in these past few years, I have weathered the challenges - though not unscathed, I assure you.  I have failed, I have succeeded, and in the final analysis, I have survived, the studio has survived, my family has survived.  Shaken but not stirred.

 

-GE